I still remember the first time I felt proud of who I saw in the mirror.
It was a warm August day in the town of West Linn, Oregon. I was visiting my old therapist, Wendy, before I travelled to Seattle to start my college journey.
We hadn’t really heard much from each other over the last year, but I just had to visit her before I went north. She had helped me so much in high school, it would have felt wrong to leave without saying goodbye.
We spoke about a lot of things during our session. The passage of time, the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic, the connections I have with my brother and sister, but as we we’re wrapping up, she wanted to leave me with one clear message: I’ve changed for the better.
I was not the repressed, insecure 15-year old she had met so long ago, who only knew how to wallow in the loneliness he couldn’t escape from. A lot of self-reflection and hard work later, and she was proud of the happier, healthier, and more hopeful person that I had become. I choked up and cried, I’ll admit.
On the drive home with my dad, staring out the passenger side window at the rolling, tree-laden hills of the Northwest, I took a moment to think about who I used to be. I used to be the boy who wandered around by himself at recess, too afraid to ask the other kids if I could play with them. To grow social confidence after so many years of self-inflicted isolation, it’s tough. It’s a delicate flower that struggles to blossom, even when you try your best to care for it.
Thankfully though, when I got back home, late at night, and tucked myself into bed, I remembering staring at my reflection in my bedroom window. I smiled. For once, I saw someone who I knew could become a better person, no matter what laid in his path. I saw someone I could believe in.
Ever since that day, I’ve been walking that path of self-improvement every day. Whether it’s my experience as a journalist, the creative works I’ve made, or even the small moments of connection I’ve had with others, I’m proud of all the tiny victories I’ve made for myself.
I’m also proud of my neurodiverse, LGBT+ identity, and I want to prove my value to a world that too often shuns and minimizes people just like me. I take each step forward for granted, and I’m not stopping anytime soon.
If you’ve met me, personally or professionally, I hope you consider being a part of my journey. Just as I seek to lift myself up, I’ll give that same courtesy to you and whatever we work on, together. If you will, or ever have, put your trust and faith in me…
Thank You.
It means the world.